Contract Between Husband and WifeSubmitted by: SJ
This agreement, between Husband (H) and Wife (W), husband and wife, is effective as of September 29, 2004.
H has used illegal drugs, planned visits to professional mistresses, and lied to W about these and other activities; has failed to meet his obligations to his partners at the law firm; has been irresponsible in money matters; has failed to communicate adequately with W, sometimes indulging in temper tantrums in lieu of communication; and has otherwise engaged in conduct destructive to the marriage;
This conduct has hurt W, undermined her security and confidence, and otherwise harmed the marriage;
W has reacted to this conduct by becoming increasingly angry and impatient with H, by withdrawing her affections from him, and otherwise engaged in conduct destructive to the marriage;
This conduct has hurt H, undermined his sense of security and confidence, and otherwise harmed the marriage;
The future of the marriage depends on each party avoiding the described behaviors and related ones, and on restoring and maintaining their confidence and faith in the marriage; H recognizes the importance of intimate communication to W, both as a source of joy and of trust and confidence;
W recognizes importance of predictability and limits to H, both as a source of security and of trust and confidence;
H represents to W that using her authority and attendant erotic power under this agreement will improve the marriage, and W relies on such representation in agreeing to proceed under this agreement.
Therefore, in consideration of the foregoing recitals and the terms, conditions and mutual promises below and for other good and valuable consideration, the receipt and sufficiency of which the parties acknowledge, the parties agree as follows:
1. H and W shall at a minimum spend 30 minutes before arising each Monday and Wednesday morning in intimate, substantive conversation.
2. W alone will determine when and how H derives any physical sexual pleasure.
3. H will wear a chastity device (CB) (currently a CB-2000 or CB-3000) on a full-time, permanent basis, except as specified below.
4. W alone will install and remove all security tags or locks, and supervise installation/reinstallation of the CB.
5. W will release H only for sexual activity, hygiene, certain doctor visits, emergencies or medical conditions. W will instruct H to reinstall the CB as soon as practicable after any release, and H promptly will do so.
6. W will closely supervise H at any time the CB is not installed so that he does not masturbate or otherwise handle himself excessively.
7. Notwithstanding any period of non-release, W will release H for hygiene purposes on approximately a bi-weekly basis, during which time H will shower with W so that she can supervise the release and H’s immediate reinstallation of the CB. While in the CB, H will maintain his personal hygiene to the best of his ability.
8. H will purchase as soon as feasible a small electronic combination safe to enable W to securely store any item(s) she desires, including security tags, locks, drugs, etc.
II. Targeted Conduct By H
9. The following is non-exclusive list of the types of conduct by H this agreement is designed to modify, eliminate or prohibit:
Failure to communicate and especially to share intimacies, non-sexual and sexual;
Failure to raise issues that require communication as and when they happen;
Personal attacks, insults, arguing over words or other evasions in lieu of substantive communication;
Lying, dishonesty or evasion of the truth of any kind;
Failure to abide by the Dispute Resolution Procedure described below;
Temper tantrums of any kind, for any reason, or losing temper at the office;
Use of controlled substances or prescription drugs without W’s express permission;
Lack of consideration/attention to W, or making W wait when H knows she is waiting for him;
Causing W to remind H to do chores or other agreed activities in a timely fashion, or inattention to household requirements;
Failure to exercise;
Failure to reinstall the CB when instructed, attempting to escape the CB, or making an inappropriate or unjustified request for release from the CB;
Any form of unauthorized attempted sexual relief and/or activity, including phone sex or unauthorized internet contacts of any sort;
Spending money without permission;
Failure to take W’s views and desires into account when dealing with the children;
Failure to properly parent the children, such as by making sure homework is done before playing, checking homework, and enforcing table manners and bedtimes, without being reminded to do so by W;
Failure to timely discuss and pursue issues with the children’s mother that require resolution, as judged by W;
Poor billing and/or other work habits, including failure to record all billable hours as incurred, taking too many breaks or taking them at inappropriate times, failure to focus or work on deadlines before taking breaks, failure to complete deadlines or prioritize work to avoid creating crises or having to work late; failure to properly train, supervise or use support staff;
Failure to ensure that the internet browser fully records the internet history on any private computer, deleting any portion of same, or switching screens when W appears;
Objecting to or attempting to negotiate rewards/punishments as set forth below.
10. W alone shall determine the conduct this agreement covers.
III. Other Conduct-Related Issues
11. W will make her best efforts to minimize her overt expressions of anger, impatience and frustration with H, relying instead on her authority to impose consequences under this agreement to convey her sentiments and concerns to H;
12. Both parties agree not to assume that the other understands the other’s position or to respond negatively to the other’s ‘tone of voice’ without identifying the issue.
III. Rewards and Punishments
13. W will reward H for avoiding conduct such as that listed above and punish H for engaging in same.
14. W alone will establish and impose all rewards and punishments, and H will abide by same without complaint or objection, although W in her sole discretion may offer H an opportunity to discuss them.
15. W will choose whether and how to impose a punishment and whether to make any exceptions thereto. H will neither anticipate nor expect any form of punishment, mitigation or reward enhancement from W and acknowledges that to do so could create tensions contrary to the spirit of this agreement.
16. Rewards shall consist of anything W chooses, other than time not wearing the CB, including sexual activity under conditions W sets.
17. Punishments shall consist of a delay in H’s release from the CB for sexual activity, plus anything W chooses, including non-erotic physical punishment, sleeping apart, loss of cuddling, lunch bunch, tennis or golf privileges, directions respecting use of the internet and any downloaded material, etc. H will sleep in another room whenever sleeping apart is part of the punishment.
18. There is no maximum time limit for H to remain in the CB without release.
19. W will keep track of the number of days remaining before H’s release from the CB for sexual activity.
20. Punishments shall increase in severity for each repetition of the same underlying offense.
21. All punishments involving delay of H’s release from the CB will run consecutively.
22. W may direct H not to use Androgel during any punishment period involving delay of H’s release from the CB.
23. Because of the fundamental importance of intimate communication, W will cuddle with H during the morning conversations per par. 1 above only if he is communicating to W’s satisfaction. While W may impose any other punishment she chooses, H recognizes that the issue of communication is so central to the marriage that it cannot and should not be addressed solely within the context of this agreement.
IV. Dispute Resolution Procedure
24. Because of the special damage serious arguments do to the marriage, and the inherent threat of H’s loss of temper, such arguments must be stopped immediately so the parties can quickly address and resolve the underlying dispute.
25. To this end, whenever W believes a disagreement has escalated or threatens to escalate to a level unacceptable to her, W may initiate the Dispute Resolution Procedure (DRP) by so informing H.
26. H shall immediately go to the sun room, or wherever is convenient (or designated by W), and stand, CB fully exposed, hands held behind his back. W may always decide to pinion H’s hands there, for security or other considerations.
27. When W chooses to do so, she shall begin the discussion by stating her concerns or asking H to state his, or by asking questions or by offering H the opportunity to do the same, and each shall fully and completely raise his/her concerns and respond to the other as appropriate.
28. H will make eye contact with W throughout the DRP and shall not interrupt W at any point.
29. The DRP will end only when W decides it will.
30. Violations of the DRP, if sufficient in W’s sole judgment, shall result either in period without release from the CB commensurate with the severity of the violation, or in a temporary or permanent suspension of this agreement and the attendant chastity regimen, or divorce, as W chooses.
V. Other Provisions
31. The parties have fully negotiated this agreement, in good faith, with full knowledge and understanding of its consequences and potential, recognizing that full compliance with its terms and conditions may be essential to the continued vitality and success of their marriage. They enter into the agreement freely, voluntarily and cooperatively.
32. H’s sexual needs will be met solely in accordance with the terms of this agreement, irrespective of any interval between orgasms, and W will not take those needs into account in imposing punishments.
33. Because adherence to the agreement may not result in meeting W’s sexual needs, W may fulfill those needs as she sees fit. H may attempt to initiate sexual activity with W, unless W objects, but if H is not entitled to a release and/or W chooses not to release him, he will see to her needs as directed, as he will at any time requested.
34. If W chooses to permit H to have a form of sexual release during the course of a punishment depriving him of release, H will resume the punishment on reinstallation of the CB, and an additional week shall be added to the punishment period.
35. The parties may amend this agreement at any time, orally or in writing. In case of disagreement respecting an amendment, W may amend this agreement in her discretion and will so notify H.
36. The failure of either party to this agreement to insist on the performance of any of its terms or conditions, or waiver of any breach of any terms and conditions of this agreement, does not thereafter waive any such terms and conditions, which shall remain in full force and effect as if no such forbearance or waiver had occurred.
37. W has sole authority to interpret this agreement and H shall have no right of appeal except as W may grant. No interpretation W makes of the agreement or action she takes under it shall destroy the mutual consideration involved.
38. The post-nuptial agreement between the parties, including any future amendments, is unrelated to this agreement.
39. H recognizes that his breach of this agreement may, if sufficiently material, cause W to suspend this agreement or terminate it entirely, never again cooperate in a chastity routine, or to divorce H.
40. H agrees to grant W an uncontested divorce if he tries to escape or succeeds in escaping the CB, or if he tries to or does have any form of sexual contact, including by phone, the internet or physically, with another person. H also agrees to a divorce if he uses any controlled substance without W’s prior permission or commits multiple and repeated material infractions of the terms of this agreement.
41. The term of this agreement is indefinite.
Signed this ____ day of ____________, 2004, by:
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