CHASTE HUSBAND, HAPPY WIFETranslation Submitted by: Carl
[ Original French Version ]
Notes from Translator:
When Altarboy first posted the French version of this document on his site, he asked for volunteers to translate it to English. French is not my native language; most of what I know, I learned in school. But I found the article (what I understood of it) well written and fascinating, so I took this task on. You'll see that this is almost a book rather than an article, so it has taken me and my trusty dictionary weeks to work through it.
As I said, French is a foreign language for me. I'd like to say that I maintained the tone and style of the original, but the truth is, the it sounds a little strange because that's the best I was able to do. Still, I hope you'll be able to enjoy this very thoughtful treatment of female domination and chastity. I sure did!
Guys, if you're looking for a text to "break the ice" with your potential but unconvinced keyholder and are not afraid of bondage, punishments and other forms of being dominated, this may be the ticket. But if so, I recommend that you heed the warning in the first section: Present it to your lady without reading ahead!
Message to Men
If the subject of this article interests you, then Gentlemen, I warn you: It could be you simply feel like fantasizing, and in this case you may read it completely at ease. If you should think to have a chance, however small, of convincing your wife to enter with you in these games of submission and chastity, then in this case I strongly advise you against reading it.
If you have have not yet had the courage to reveal to her the fantasies you wish to fulfil in your partnership, this article could prove to be a valuable help.
Based on my personal experience, I have written this article for women, especially for those who have never yet practiced the games of domination/chastity with their husband, my main goal being to convince her of the interest and the pleasure which they could draw from it : Thus this text wants to be convincing and explanatory, your partner will find therein all the good reasons which should incline them to launch with you into these games of chastity, and all the stages which she will have to make you surmount to succeed, because even if the subject really interests you, it does not make sense to imagine bringing it about without a long prepatory journey.
If you really wish to convince her, the simplest is to download this article, then to print it and to offer it to her, without having read it, on a special occasion, such as her birthday or your wedding anniversary.
Gentlemen, in making this article available to you, I give you a unique opportunity to bring your fantasy into being. This document will let you avoid launching into embarrassing explanations with more than doubtful results. And still, assuming you find the courage to broach the topic. The proof of it is that until this day you were not able to find this courage and it could take a long time yet because I recognize that it is not easy.
If you are concerned about your wife's reaction to reading this article, be assured that the content is neither vulgar nor pornographic, it is made to not shock her, even if on this day she is totally virginal in matters of domination and chastity. I do not develop ready made recipes, only principles of which the most important is progression. She will not find anything extreme nor infeasible, all that is explained can be achieved in the framework of the couple without hurting the quality of love which unites you.
Spontaneity being essential to the intimate rapport between two beings, I heartily advise you not to read this article because you will know in advance each step which she will have to make you take and this will hinder all the emotions which arise from the unexpected and from surprise. Keep in mind that the reactions from you she will bring about will constitute, for her, the main inspiration and motivation to go further.
Reaching the goal you are searching for will not be easy either for you nor for her, so don't spoil the quality of your future togetherness by reading this article, offer it to her in a nice gift package, and as a first sign of the great trust you are offering to place in her, swear to her that you have not read it.
Gentlemen, if you are still here, I ask you to re-read the preceding message. If you persist anyway, you are wrong. I had warned you.
Ladies, now that we are supposedly alone, I will try to convince you of the interest which you will find in dominating your husband, and more precisely in dominating him sexually by chastity (temporary, I assure you).
Before starting, I first give a definition of the word .chastity.: What this is is the absence of ejaculation. I know this is not the exact definition of the word but, to simplify, this is the meaning in which I employ it throughout this article. However, chastity does not imply the absence of oral or manual caresses, nor the absence of penetration, so long as these practices don't result in ejaculation.
I have decided to take up the pen to write this little guide because, at least as far as I know, there isn't one like it so far. One finds on the Internet, a little in French and a lot in English, numerous tellings of more or less realistic stories of women dominating their partners by means of chastity and the wearing of belts of the same name, but in general these accounts skimp on the motivation and the journey leading to these practices, giving them a few short lines while the main goal of the story is to strongly describe the details of what happens (most often, no doubt, what the author would like to have happen to him!) once the submission/chastity relationship has already progressed to an advanced stage.
If you read this article, then it is either because you found it yourself on the Internet or because, as I suggested it to the gentlemen in the preceding, your husband has offered it to you because the subject interests him. In both cases, given the evidence, this indicates that your partnership has attained a state of sufficient openness of spirit regarding sexual matters that everything I will describe to you will be accessible and that you will be able to really bring them into reality with your husband even if today one or the other is not yet ready.
Not to descend into the dark details of psychology, simply call to mind that the vast majority of men and women have a noticeably different approach to sexuality. Women bring themselves into a sexual relationship on a level of passion and emotion, with the physical being only one of the results. Men, on the other hand, apply themselves mainly physically and mentally, with the mental aspect being largely abstract, that is to say, not very personal, so it is the context and the situation which motivate them during the act, with feelings having a relatively small presence.
One needs to be aware that husbands who practice fidelity are faithful because they have decided to be and not because they are repulsed by a sexual relationship without feelings. Women often have trouble understanding this, but it is nonetheless true. One first proof of this is the number of unfaithful husbands who remain sincerely very attached to their wives, while a wife who cheats on her husband is always likely to file for divorce on short notice.
Faithful men are thus much more easily the victims of base interests for a sexual relationship due to a certain routine which comes about (necessarily?) in the marriage with time, and this without their feelings for their wife being noticeably lower in intensity. Further to this, you no doubt know that, after the age of 30, the physical needs of most men decline noticeably.
Even if the frequency of intercourse remains satisfactory, your husband no longer has, neither physically nor mentally, the same longings, the same desire for you as before. His motivation for long foreplay flags, as likewise he is no longer capable of maintaining an erections without penetration for hours like he could do at age 20. You have no doubt remarked that, during foreplay, his erection drops if he embraces or caresses your whole body for ten minutes! Consciously or not, he compensates for this situation by almost always wanting to shorten the preliminaries to proceed more quickly to the main event.
Abandoning psychological considerations, let us now proceed to the concrete. Why can your husband's chastity bring you more satisfaction on the sexual plane? The answer to this question is entirely contained in the observations you were able to make at some time:
Of course at some time or other it has happened that you were separated from him for some days, or better some weeks. The first meeting after that rarely takes place in bed, rather, the first contact after the absence most likely took place in a public place such as an airport, or maybe in the presence of children or friends, and presumably you had to be patient for several hours before having found the two of yourselves alone in intimacy. During this whole period of waiting, did you notice to what degree his behavior was warmer than usual: He is always seeking out your touch, his hands are roaming, in a few hours you receive more kisses, even furtive ones, than you had had in months, he tells you nice words and makes suggestive allusions. In short, for a few hours, you have the husband most women dream of. Then comes the moment of intimacy, you give in to his impatience, and then . he turned back into your husband of every day!!!
What went wrong?
Because so long as he is sexually excited but unable to satisfy himself (I dare not say .discharge.!), he is so tender, so warm, so attentive, so affectionate, etc. So, the only way to stop him from changing is to keep him in this excited state without giving him the chance of satisfying himself. It's that simple.
So, deprive your husband of coming (in the sense of ejaculation, not in the sense of pleasure) and you will have a perfect husband 24 hours a day.
Imagine what your life would be like if your husband was permanently in this condition.
During the day, he would no longer forget to call you at the office, and from the mere tone of his voice you would know that he is thinking hard, very hard, of you. (How long has it been that this last happened to you?) After two, maybe three orgasms in the same night (how long has it been that this last happened to you?) you would have at your side not a mute, tuckered-out lump but a husband who would continue to embrace and caress you (how long has it been that this last happened to you?). Before reaching your orgasm, you would be coddled, caressed, and embraced for hours until you were out of your mind with desire (how long has it been that this last happened to you?). At night, on your way home, you wouldn't be able to stop yourself from thinking about the program awaiting you once you two are alone in the room (how long has it been that this last happened to you?). Every time you are bored in a business meeting, your mind can escape to think back on how sublime your play of last night had been, and how that of the coming night could be even better (how long has it been that this last happened to you?).
Let's stop here!
I'm sure that you are now convinced that this would be worth the trouble to try.
How to achieve this? How to bring about that he accepts entering in these games which, it is important to keep in mind, are however quite far from what he is spontaneously willing to accept? How to make him accept the fact of not coming and thus to bring him to use the only physical means left available to him to take pleasure in touches, caresses, kisses, sweet words, etc.
The remainder of this article explains to you how, by means of domination games, you can achieve this result.
You will no doubt think that this is impossible; mine would never accept, you tell yourself. Rid yourself of this misconception: Once you will have succeeded in the necessary preparatory work, you will see that he will perfectly accept this situation and that he will even become your accomplice in his proper chaste-keeping by not trying to take advantage of situations where he could have come (notably at the moment of penetration) by deceiving your watchfulness.
In fact, this preparatory work, that is to say, the progressive introduction of domination games, is actually harder to do than the phase of long-term chastity, because the latter is nothing but the logical consequence of the former, thus it will come very naturally.
I need to forestall your likely mental response to me: .Dominate my husband? She'll tell me to dress in leather tonight, to pick up a riding crop and to tell him: .On your knees, slave!.. If this is what you are afraid of, be assured, my program is completely different. It is based first and foremost on progession. There is no question of transforming you from one day to the next into the caricature of a professional dominatrix. What I will explain and recomment to you is a long evolution which will take you effectively but at your own pace to dominate your husband (with the goal of keeping him chaste, I remind you), but the external conditions of this domination will be yours to invent, to imagine and to bring about in agreement with your desires, your tastes and your preferences (as well has his, certainly).
Even if, in reading this article to the end, you think that certain practices or certain situations are not to your liking, don't worry, nothing is fixed, everything can be done your way, according to your style, according to your personality. And then, you will discover, and you will at first be amazed, that the acts which today appear unappealing, maybe even repulsive, will one day bring you desire and that you will find in their practice a pleasures which you had not even imagined.
Everything is a matter of progression, for him as well as for you. Let yourself be guided by your desires to the extent that they arise, just be curious, imaginative and inventive. New things will come by themselves in their own time.
Capter 1 - How to begin? Introduction to Bondage
Bondage games are without doubt the best and simplest of the preparations for introducing domination into your bedroom. For those who don't know, .bondage. is a word signifying, literally, enslavement, but which, in the circle of those "into" domination, means .tying up.. This word will recur frequently in this article.
A survey published by Elle Magazine in 1998 revealed that 26% of those women surveyed had, at least once in their life, tied up their partner and 29% had been tied up by their partner. I don't know how trustworthy this survey is, but it is certain that these practices are on the upswing, if only because one sees them in the movies or on TV.
It is thus probably that most of you have at least a little experience with your husband in this area, be it as the restrainer or the restrained or, more likely, sometimes in one role and sometimes the other. In this case, it will suffice for you to start from foundations already acquired to proceed.
For the others, it is a matter of introducing these games into your amorous activities with your husband but, as in all things, a progression is essential. It is thus sufficient to create the necessary circumstances for this to come about naturally.
To do this, you will see to it that, during your love encounters, an object which could serve as a restraint is present on the bed, seemingly by chance: The simplest is of course a cloth belt, such as from a bathrobe or dressing gown. If they are sewn to your garment, do not hesitate to detach them or better, buy a new bathrobe or dressing gown. Leather belts are hardly suitable for starting out, but on the other hand chain belts (which are in fashion at the moment) could be made to do. Apart from belts, you can also arrange to leave a long ribbon draped on the bed, or a string coming from a package you have opened some time before. It is up to you to be imaginative. Create multiple opportunities but vary them in such a way as to give them the appearance of perfect naturalness.
To be sure, the ideal would be for him to be the one to take the initiative, given the sight of the tie you will have left lying around. If this comes about and he wants to tie you up, above all don't refuse, or possibly pretend to resist, but in such a way that your resistance becomes an invitation for him to continue. I don't need to explain this to you, all women know how to resist to better encourage.
If the sight of a tie trailing on the bed does not set his mind to taking the initiative, then take it in his place. If you are afraid to scare him off, suggest yourself as the victim, this is more in the nature of things or, to be more exact, more in the traditional schemes of upbringing of our macho husbands.
For this .first time., if it is you who is tied up, it is of course not necessary for you to be transformed into a sausage: Even if your hands are attached in a manner more symbolic than effective, be sure not to try to free yourself, stay his prisoner until the end and if necessary even refuse to be untied, and this until he has come. This point is essential, because if you are paying your dues it is to better claim turnabout: If he has tied you up, he will not be able to take his turn at being tied up in turn. But take your time, do not go for immediate revenge. Wait for a next time and in the meantime share with him the pleasure you had felt in this game.
When it comes time for him to be restrained, consider that men are made in a way that makes it hard for them to resist their desires, so you will need to tie him with a minimum of realism because if his bonds are too symbolic it is probable that after a moment of being amused by his passiveness, he will put an end to the situation in order to quickly achieve his desire to come. If your bed has bars and bedposts (if it doesn't, think about changing this if you can, it will simplify your life later on), then attach his hands separately and sufficiently far apart that he cannot reach with one hand the knots on the other. Lacking a barred bed, tie his fists together above his head, the simplest being to use two bathrobe or dressing gown belts in succession. Even if you are still totally inexperienced in the art of bondage, this should be largely sufficient at this stage.
That's it, he's at your command, so take advantage: Lick, hug, caress, tickle, nibble, then start over again. In short: Make it last. Then, finish with a good ride, but be prepared to be ready to come very soon because he's likely to be much faster than you, and you will end up either waiting for a second round or asking him to put his tongue to work!
On the first occasions, untie him once he has come; Any prostitute could tell you, while in the excited state a man is a very weak and easily manipulated (notably into coaxing him to part with bonuses to the going rate), but on the other hand once his business is done he regains his spirits at once, his bearing and his macho attitude. Coming back down to earth, his position as a victim could embarrass or shock him and he might refuse to repeat the experience. In general, and this is a constant throughout this chapter and the following, limit your sessions with him to a single orgasm. Even if your husband is perfectly capable of multi-orgasmic unions as they say, you must complete your sessions with his first coming and stop everything afterward: No more dominatrix, no more dominated, your joinings will become .normal.. This is important not only for the reasons I just brought to light, but ever so much more so in view of the chastity training program which is the final goal. We will return to this.
Just as when you were the victim, talk afterward in a tone of enjoyment about what has happened: Display the pleasure you have taken, and above all compliment him on his erection, which was the finest and longest ever (you know, men can never resist such flatteries). And of course tell him that you are very eager to do it again some day.
Let a bit of time pass, and then start again. The first few times, it is preferrable to switch roles. After that, it is up to you to see if you derive equally much pleasure in both roles. As I explained previously in this article, you could perfectly well go through the program together and arrive at the anticipated result being parallel and occasionally being submissive while sometimes he is your submissive. The two situations are not incompatible. It's a matter of personal choice.
All these initial sessions must of course happen in good fun and enjoyment, don't show him that you take it seriously but instead be playful and make him realize that just the mention of these games really excites you.
There! You have successfully introduced bondage into your love relationship. It is now a matter of going further and introducing games of dominations which are a prelude to those of chastity. At this stage, the word ‘chastity’ is much too strong, let us instead speak of ‘delayed coming’.
That is the second phase of this program.
Chapter 2: Domination: Introduction to "delayed coming"
Now that the practice of bondage has begun to form part of your love games, you should gradually refine your technique: Don't content yourself with more or less efficiently fastening his hands, but begin to complete his immobilization by also restraining his feet. If you want a pretext for this, all you need do is tickle or nibble him a little more forcefully than is advisable, in the area of his legs. He'll start to kick like a mule, which will hamper you in your work (watch out for knee kicks, they hurt!): You'll have the perfect excuse to tie down his ankles as well.
Start also to vary his positions: Instead of just tying him in a fixed position on the bed, tie his hands behind his back, this will leave him more mobile and you could, for example, ask him to kiss your hole body or maybe put him on his knees for a little “enjoyment” for which you are upright against a wall or sitting in an easy chair. Dare to ask for what you feel like, dare to guide him by telling him what you want him to do. Little by little these indications must take the form of orders, of course all this in a pleasurable tone: “You are my prisoner, you must obey me!” Little by little and imperceptibly, you will graduate from situations of simple sexual pleasure (“kiss me everywhere”) to situations and positions of domination, even humiliation (“kiss my feet”).
Arrange to practice these sessions only if you have time, lots of time, and make it last. But you must know that a man is capable of staying proudly erect for more than an hour or two if you do things to him, but on the other hand his erection cannot last as long if he is the one doing things to you. So watch his erection and when it flags, take back the active role to revitalize it. This is an essential point if you want to maintain his interest in these practices.
To cultivate, or even magnify this erection, why not do in these situations that which "gets to" almost all men: A striptease. Tie him to a chair (avoid easy chairs, you will not be able to impale yourself on him), hands on his back, ankles tied to the legs of the chair, create appropriate surroundings (suitable lights and music, and if necessary sip a small glass of brandy to get yourself into the spirit) and start into a hellish striptease. You lack experience? Practice in front of your mirror, rent videos with striptease scenes in them, that's all you need. You're no dancer? Take courses, there are schools available in all big cities which can teach you to striptease or belly dance. Check out your local Yellow Pages.
It's also necessary to start thinking about equipment: At this point, dressing gown belts are becoming insufficient, so go on to ropes, and if you feel that things are ripe between you, then also buy handcuffs. You can find them anywhere, but avoid adult bookstores because they are overpriced there. Begin to use gags (explaining that he talks too much, of course). At this stage, a symbolic gag is sufficient, so use a scarf but not over his mouth but in the mouth. This is not very effective at silencing him but at least his lips will be accessible when you feel like kissing him and also he will get a lot more feeling from it. Progressively expand your bondage equipment. As I go on to tell you in the chapter dedicated to bondage, a large part of your equipment will come from home improvement stores. So change your habits from now on, accompany him into those stores where up to now you never set foot! Take an interest in ropes, chains, locks, in hooks, pulleys, etc. To walk around in the aisles of a ‘Home Depot’ or whatever while exchanging in whispers new ideas born from the sight of an object which, up until then, would never have inspired you to anything, I assure you this is a pleasure you will not want to miss. You will never look at home improvement stores the same way, believe me! And if you are fortunate enough to have a husband who is inclined to be a craftsman, you will be amazed at how resourceful a man can be at fashioning the instruments for his own torture!
This progression in his domination should now take you to the introduction of punishments. In the beginning, call them ‘payments‘ instead and set up an atmosphere of playfulness and good humor during their execution.
When you feel things are sufficiently ripe, start to use the word ‘punishment’ and then introduce the first spanking, which will of course be more symbolic than real but be aware that the symbol is strong. If you have ever received one you will know it, and remind yourself that it is even stronger for a man. Make sure to introduce these first punishments only in moments of intense excitement; I've already said so, this is essential.
It's time to start talking about chastity, or rather at this stage, of “delayed coming”.
In fact, if you have been following my advice up to this point, this introduction has already been taken care of all by itself: I advised you to draw out your sessions as long as possible, while keeping him in a semi-permanent state of excitation, and to always delay his coming to the end of the session. Thus, he has spent his time desiring you, you have excited him like never before, but being restrained, he has had to wait for your good will to achieve his ultimate goal, orgasm. So this is already a first form of temporary chastity.
A little parenthetic note to avoid any misunderstanding: While he is condemned to a single and long delayed orgasm, you, on the other hand, are not! Take your pleasure as often as you like! But be careful, unless you are perfectly aware of your husband's reactions in these moments (you will get there, more or less, with time), don't forget that being restrained does not keep him from coming. While it's easy enough to control him while blowing him or jerking him off, on the other hand you may not be able to stop him from coming during a penetrative act. So limit your own orgasms to oral or manual methods, don't practice penetration other for very short durations and be ready to withdraw at the first telltale sign of his coming; it's too bad if you deprive yourself! In passing, I tell you that there is nothing more exciting than to masturbate yourself while watching your tied-up husband squirming like mad. No man is indifferent to a woman playing with herself, and if you have never dared to offer him this sight, this is the perfect occasion to find the courage to do it. You may tell yourself that you would never dare to do this, but set yourself straight: You wouldn't imagine to what point shyness and timidity can retreat in such moments. I guarantee that you will not have to force yourself, it will happen completely naturally. After all, he is not the only one to be excited!
At this stage in the process of education, it may be useful to briefly take stock. Think back to the questions I asked you in the Introduction (“How long has it been since you...”). I'm sure that your answers will be a powerful motivation to continue the process.
Getting back to our subject, you have thus started, even without being aware of it (he, on the other hand, is aware of it!) to start playing with delayed orgasms. Now, all that is needed is to make it progressively more official: Before making him come at the end of the session, ask him if he really thinks he deserves to come, if he has been nicely obedient, if he has made you come well enough to warrant you taking care of him, etc. Then, during the following occasions, threaten to leave him in this state because you are not sure if he was sufficiently deserving. The first times, don't make good on your threats, be patient because you are reaching a crucial turning point in his training, and it is best not to miss it.
Before coming to the first time that he will be deprived of his orgasm, let us briefly back up, because I recall I did not elaborate on the circumstances under which, up until now, he would be getting his long-awaited coming. Should he be restrained or not? Does he have the right to a penetration or only an oral or manual favor? Does he have to make himself come in front of you? To the first two questions, I would answer without hesitation, vary the circumstances to taste: Sometimes restrained, sometimes free, sometimes you come down on him, sometimes the opposite, sometimes with your hands, sometimes with your mouth. This is up to you to choose according to what you feel like. I said for you to choose, not him! As for the third question, I am much more biased: If the both of you really appreciate this, you can include it in your spectrum but I personally think this to be rather counterproductive. To begin with, aside from some rare exceptions, men don't like to masturbate in front of their partner, and much more, because this excludes you completely from the goal he is waiting for. It is by you that his coming has been delayed for a long time, so it is by you that it has to take place. This will only make his dependence on your consideration more complete and confirmed.
So, after several unfulfilled threats, you will choose one night where the session has gone particularly well, and inform him that he will remain in this state for the whole night. Don't expect him to accept his misfortune with a glad heart: He will rebel, protest and, once he is untied, will want to penetrate you more or less by force. Instead of authority, I advise persuasion, gentleness and sweetness: Tell him that this really turns you on, that you want to do it, that he can do it for you, promise him that the next morning you will please him all the more, that you will make him come like never before, that..., that... ; in short: Be convincing but stick firmly to your decision. And most of all, the next morning, keep your promise! You will see that even if he is not normally a “morning person“, it will be he who will wake you and demand his dues.
His business done (yours too, first, why deprive yourself?), congratulate him, thank him, show him your appreciation, tell him how much you are aware of what he has done for you, etc. Finally, be sure to tell him how much you really want to start again next time.
There, good job, you've succeeded.
Before going any further, take your time, repeat the same scheme several times: Coming postponed to the next morning. Once this level is respected over several times, it becomes time to pass on to the third and final phase: Longer-term chastity.
Chapter 3: Long-term chastity: The chastity belt
Before coming to the heart of this final phase, I must respond to a question which may have crossed your mind: What if he decides to get himself off during the night? Is it necessary to keep him tied up all night to be sure? I would reply that it not very likely that he'll do this, at least in this stage of your relationship. I've already said so, men generally hate to masturbate in front of a woman, much less their own wife (on the other hand, they love to ask you to do it in front of them!) Anyway, if you think he could eventually decide to relieve himself during the night, or simply if it turns you on, you can tie him up for the night. But be aware that it's not possible to do this in just any position: Making him sleep with his hands tied behind his back is simply not feasible, firstly because he won't shut an eye all night and also because he won't be able to handle a whole night of the pains which will not fail to arise around his shoulders. If you want to tie him up a little more comfortably, you have your choice of three possible techniques:
Naturally (if one may say so), you will find reasons not to relieve him in the early morning and to delay this to the evening. Once the evening has arrived before passing on to the deserved reward, make him wait, make him pass tests, tie him up, punish him on the slightest pretense and most of all oblige him to satisfy you first (why not twice or more?) In a word, progress in your domination, become more and more demanding, harder, more severe, I would even say more unfair: Begin to get him used to not having your promises kept (careful, I'm talking only about these particular moments of intimacy, not in daily life!), to being punished without a reason, because you feel like it. In other words, be the most perfect bitch.
It is perfectly natural, if he has not come for 24 or 48 hours while you have excited him like never before that you are worried about his behavior throughout the day which he spends away from you: Tease him about the fantasies he must have had from contact with women in his office, share with him your misgivings at seeing his erectile state as soon as you get near him, and therefore tell him - that you will have to make him wear a chastity belt.
Persevere in this idea, mention it repeatedly. And one day, proceed to doing it for real.
His first chastity belt
His first chastity belt will be made by you.
Start with some swimming trunks. Like all swimming trunks, they will be designed to be fasted with a string at the waist. If the space for this string is sufficient, replace the string with a very narrow belt. Once fastened, this belt can be kept in place by means of a small lock passed through the hole closest to the buckle. If there is not enough room for a belt, sew loops all around the trunks and slide the belt through these, locking it the same way. Of course this chastity belt is not very effective, it is more symbolic than real: Even if he can extract his organ by raising the pant leg (which will allow him to do something essential: urinate), he will not be able to remove the trunks, which in principle will give you the assurance that he will not find with some secretary the satisfaction that you refuse to give him. As for the other essential natural function, whether he is used to voiding in the morning before leaving the house or whether he is on a less regular schedule, you can cut a hole near his anus to allow him to achieve this natural function.
Play for a few times with this first chastity belt for sessions of a few days, talk to him while placing him in bondage, show him that this situation excites you a lot, make him assert that he thinks of you a lot, etc. Over time, make it so that this instrument becomes an indispensable accessory to his periods of domination/chastity. And progressively lengthen the duration of these periods.
A real chastity belt
This chastity belt not being very effective, next start to introduce the idea that he will need someting more effective. Make a plan of the idea that you are going to search for a real chastity belt, and when this idea has started to take hold, tell him that you have read in a magazine that there are real chastity belts for males, involve him in your research by asking him to find an Internet reference to the exact item in question (the absolute Internet reference on the topic of chastity belts being the Altarboy site), and where you can buy one. Don't rush yourself, but return to the subject systematically in your discussions.
Once the question seems to be ripe to your wishes, and you have made a choice concerning the type of belt you want (see Chapter 7 for my advice on different models), take the next step by involving him not only in the decision but also in its purchase.
At this point you have finished your long introductory voyage. Now it's up to you to benefite from all the work that has been accomplished. The main item you need now is your imagination. To help you fertilize it, in the following chapters I will present to you some ideas and suggestions about your respective behaviors as well as some ideas about games which could spice up these times.
Chapter 4: The daily relationship: Your respective behaviors
Your behavior and that of your husband must daily reflect the completely unequal situation which has been instituted between you. Starting with simnple obedience, there are more specific behaviors which you must impose on him. But there are also behaviors which you will have to impose on yourself.
A small reminder, no doubt annoying with repetition: All that follows is conceivable and feasible only to the extent that your relationship has already attained the final level of domination/chastity. During the (long) period of approaching this stage, you may let yourself be inspired by what follows, but in a lighter form. For example, it is possible that some of the recommendations I will make will not appeal to you even in an advanced stage of your relationship. This is not important; do what you feel like, the only thing of importance is your control of him.
So let us start with recommendations concerning his behavior:
Women often complain about a lack of courtesy, attention and thoughtfulness on part of their husband. You have here a unique opportunity to make him relearn old lessons which he may have forgotten a bit. So demand, under all circumstances, the most extreme gallantry regarding yourself: Always letting you go first, opening the car door for you when you enter or exit, holding your chair when you sit down, not to interrupt you, not to raise his voice if he disagrees, not to read the paper while you are having breakfast together, to bring you flowers even without a reason, etc. This re-education, and this is not the least of its advantages, will stand you in good stead even outside of the periods of submission/chastity.
Apart from basic notions which have nothing speifically to do with a submissive relationship, you owe it to yourself to impose certain obligations on him in order that his psychological dependence on you be maintained and strengthened by behaviors he will have to do for you. He will thus be more conscious of his place and role:
From experience, I advise you to avoid incorporating elements and necessities of daily life into the list of obligations he must respect and which could lead to punishment if he doesn't respect them. It is clearly preferrable that all you ask of him be specific to the submissive relationship you are making him live. For example, no measures relating, even indirectly, to his workplace obligations, nor for denting the car nor for forgetting to take a medical treatment, nor for not managing to get the plumber to finish work undone!
As a rule, while you are at the house or in a situation where this is possible, you should get into the habit of never leaving him completely free in his movements: Always keep him more or less tied up, this is necessary to make him feel that he is totally dependent on you. If you have assigned him a particular task or if there is some job he needs to accomplish, simply adjust his bonds such that he doesn't have any more than the necessary freedom of motion. If you have something to do or simply want to relax, read or do nothing, tie him up firmly near you or in another room, but never leave him free.
If his obligations are burdensome, know that they are so because under all circumstances all these initiatives come back to benefit you. Know that the time you will be living will not be leisurely at all, but the result will be worth a thousand times the efforts to which you will need to commit.
So here are your behaviors which are the indispensible match to his for obtaining what you demand from him:
As I mentioned in his obligations, he must serve you. But one caution on this subject is necessary: While it is all right to dress him up as a french maid with a wig, a little white apron and a bare behind if this pleases you, on the other hand don't turn him into a cleaning lady: In other words, if he is to serve you and take care of you it is as part of the goal of a sexual game, not to dump all housekeeping tasks on him. I know well that there are men who visit dominatrixes just to do their housework (and mostly they pay for this!) but for one they are rare and secondly they don't do this every day. So keep in mind that after a day's work, he can be tired, and even more so if his nights are rather lively. Don't ask more from him than usual, but rather less even to compensate, but on the other hand choose symbolic tasks which will make him aware that he is serving you (above all sexually, don't forget) and manage some times or even days of more restfulness, this is vital in the long run. On the other hand, always and everywhere avoid the least slacking of discipline.
Chapter 5: The big questions - What kind of domination?
At this stage in your reading, many questions have probably come to your mind.
Must he be permanently subjugated? Is submission a synonym for humiliation and degradation? What is the maximum period for total chastity? Which symbols of submission must he wear? What kind of relationship should be maintained with outsiders? Where are the limits of what is reasonably practicable?
It's not up to me to give valid responses to these questions to each one of you, because the attitude you have toward these questions will depend on the concept you have of your partnership, of your dominant relationship with your husband, your desires and tastes (yours as well as those of your husband, because a relationship, even one of domination, is always lived by two).
I will therefore only share with you my own experience while telling and explaining my answers to these questions, they have no other value that that of the experience lived by a couple necessarily confronted by these questions.
24 / 7 ?
In the English language of domination, 24/7 does not designate a mathematical fraction but signifies 24 hours out of 24, 7 days out of 7, and 365 days a year.
In other words, should he become your submissive for life, without a reprieve and without interruption? Everyone will answer this question as she sees fit but I for one answer "no". Such a relationship based on his chastity and submission is hard to manage, as much for him as for you. In order for such a situation to be satisfying for both parties (and believe me, it is, at least more so than you would imagine!) it is necessary that daily life doesn't come to be too much mixed in to the relationship. There are your jobs, problems with parents' health and children's heartaches, taxes, bills to pay, a broken down car, etc. With so many distractions, it is not easy to permanently keep one's mind directed to such a strong and demanding relationship as you have undertaken with your husband. It is possible for a limited time (notably if you make use of your vacation) to maintain daily life while pushing back unimportant problems and not dealing with anything but the strictly unavoidable. In the long run, daily life will overflow you.
In my view, there also exists another strong reason for not keeping it up 24/7: The risk of becoming boring, of routine, you say? Oh no! Surely not; you will find for yourself that, to the contrary, such a relationship is an absolute remedy against routine and boredom. No, the other reason is right in the middle of your relationship with your husband: When you stop, you will find that you will be hard put to come out, it is a real tearing away! So you will run the risk of no longer being able to let go, while on the other hand, that which he is capable of accepting for a time he knows will be limited (even if he does not know for how long), there is a risk that he will not accpet this if it turns into a 24/7 relationship between you. This seems to me a sufficient reason to take breaks because, I remind you, this is nothing but a game to spice up your marital relationship. At least this is my view of the matter. And furthermore, to be truly honest with you, even if coming down to earth is a bit difficult to begin with, I really appreciate the relationship I have with my husband when he re-takes his status as a dominant male; it sometimes happens that I find myself - his submissive! But yes! If I dominate him, it's because I like to do so, if I sometimes let myself be dominated, it's because I like that too.
As far as we are concerned, the year thus generally follows a cycle of 3 distinct periods: His period of chastity/submission, which lasts for approximately 3 to 4 months, my period of submission which lasts between 1 and 2 months (most often in two installments) and the rest of the year (thus, more than half) where our relationship once again becomes "normal".
All this is very personal, it is up to you to decide what you want to do.
Submission: Humiliation and degradation?
The idea of humiliating or degrading practices is essentially very subjective: Some women refuse fellatio or anal intercourse because they find these practices humiliating and degrading, on the other hand others show themselves off in pornographic films and are proud to do so. Between the two, there are all those who take pleasure in doing it exclusively with their husband. Where to draw the line?
It is a matter of submission and all that it implies for your submissive. Humiliating and degrading the body does not necessarily imply humiliating and degrading the spirit of one's partner. So it is the state of mind in which your partnership during these practices which will determine whether there is or is not a real humiliation and degradation of the person. Be assured, if this becomes the case, there will be sufficient visible signs that your relationship will be ending rapidly, and I am not just talking about your domination relationship.
For my part, I think I go very far in the practices I require of him, but under all circumstances I keep all my admiration for him: During the periods in which I dominate him, it is mostly his ability to love me without limit that I admire, the rest of the time it is just plain and simple admiration (and while he dominates me it is even more than that, but that is not the topic of this article).
Chastity: Maximum duration?
To be honest, I don't know anything about this. I have read conflicting things about this subject on the Internet. Some maintain that beyond one month there are physical consequences. Is this true? I doubt it but it is not easy to ask a doctor! There is also advice on the Internet about "treating the prostate" ("prostate milking") which is supposed to be a technique for avoiding orgasm (and thus ejaculation) while releasing the semen, thus permitting the glands to continue functioning. I have tried several times to follow the detailed advice in different articles, without results! As far as I can remember having read one day, I believe I know that sperm is produced all the time and that the unused excess runs off into the urine. So there is no risk of overflowing the glands or having them go to sleep. But I am not absolutely sure.
I can only give the fruit of my personal experience: The sessions of submission/chastity I impose on my husband are, as I have said, generally of 3 to 4 months duration. Except for some cases (where his chastity lasted a little over three complete months), these periods were often interrupted by 1 coming.
We have not found either of the aforementioned physical effects after these periods of prolonged chastity. This is all that I am sure of.
A detail which is not without interest: If, in the course of a period of domination, you decide to let him come but want to continue with a new period, see to it that he is carefully tied up, because failing this you will have little chance of being able to make him get back into his chastity belt. Also be aware that it will easily take 2 or 3 days at a minimum for him to get back into the frame of mind and become the disciplined and docile submissive he was before. Use this to give him some rest, but not to infringe on your authority and your aura. Make yourself rare and avoid occasions for punishment for 2 or 3 days because he will tend to accept them poorly.
So it is up to you to maintain the duration of his chastity as you see fit; the only advice I give you is to always maintain uncertainty: For example, do not establish the duration in advance, vary the durations so that he will never know what to expect.
Wearing symbols of submission
These symbols can be grouped into 2 categories: External, i.e. visible symbols and hidden symbols.
While for a submissive female, it is easy enough to come up with visible signs of submission by the use of (more or less significant) jewelry and also to a lesser extent by the choice of clothing, on the other hand it is much more difficult for a man because jewelry for this purpose is rather rare and unusual and because of the classical attire to which men are bound in daily life.
As far as I am concerned, I don't like for a man to wear jewelry, so my husband never wears any external sign of submission.
The choices are vast, the only limit is the imagination, your imagination.
Let us leave aside the obvious, of course the chastity belt, but also the marks which will remain after punishments (again this point is deceptive enough, because marks never last very long, at least of course when going far enough in what you inflict on him).
You can make him wear a leather dog collar, it can be very well hidden under a turtleneck or a scarf or neckkerchief, you can add a leash which you can make appear when you deem it possible.
You can make him go out wearing an anal plug in his butt (not too large, nor too long in any case): Having dinner at a restaurant while he is thus "equipped" is an even more powerful stimulant than coffee!
But let us now come to something which raises many more questions: Intimate tattoos and piercings.
Marking one's submissive with a permanent sign of ownership is terribly gratifying, for sure. Let us nevertheless think long before going on to the act: A tattoo is definitely definite (don't believe in advertisements claiming to erase them with lasers). If this is all right with you and if you are certain that he really agrees, then why not? While you choose the design, the size and the placement, keep in mind that your husband sometimes dons bathing trunks and that from time to time he needs to undergo medical examinations!
There is also a temporary solution: Henna tattoos (last 2 to 4 weeks but they can be renewed as often as desired). This is an excellent solution which I have personally adopted, it allows one to dare more meaningful wordings: I strongly advise you to accompany him to the session where the beautician will tattoo him with your first name or "property of ...".
Piercings no doubt constitute a stronger act but they have the advantage of being temporary; it is effectively enough to no longer wear the ring for some time for the skin to heal, and furthermore they can be temporarily removed in case of need (for a medical exam, for example). As for my husband, I have not yet succumbed but I'm strongly tempted by a small piercing at the base of his sex (next time, for sure!)
For a permanent tattoo, be sure of his consent before having it done, and when I say consent I mean consent given "cold", i.e. obtained during a discussion which must take place outside of periods of domination/chastity.
For other tattoos and piercings, I advise you to surprise him, it's more exciting.
Two - and more if so inclined
Is there anyone who, having found a superb treasure, didn't want to show it off?
If you have successfully reached this stage in your relationship, it is doubtful that you won't have any desires to show the rest of the world the rare pearl which is part of your life? What he gives you, what he does for you is so exceptional that this little attack of pride is well excusable.
How to fulfill your desire (and probably his too, ask him, I'm sure that the idea came to him well before you!)? Your parents, your sister in law, your neighbors or your boss are naturally excluded, there are of course specialized clubs but they are generally freqeunted by single men and the atmosphere is rather dreary and also you run the risk of meeting people you know!!
So to show him off or, as they say today, to make your coming out, choose instead the annual big fetishism nights organized by clubs of international reputation far enough away from you: Possibly in Paris [translator's note: the original of this document apparently comes from France] (only if you live in the coutryside and have very few relatives in the area of Paris), but Brussels (La Nuit Impossible, etc.), Amsterdam (Wasteland, etc..) and London (Rubber Ball, Torture Garden) are better choices. Check dates on the Internet, for example on the site www.demonia.com . For these evenings, "dress code" is mandatory and signifies that you will be able to go whole hog with your clothing fantasies: For him, dog collar and leash, handcuffs, cut-out pants, etc, or any other submissive outfit you choose; for you, a provocative dominatrice getup which you wouldn't otherwise wear out of seclusion. Nevertheless, I recommend that you wear a wig and that he wear a face mask: There is little chance that you will be recognized but nevertheless there are many French people there.
These evenings are excellently done, you won't have to do anything and you will be able to to what you please (except for sexual intercourse, which is prohibited). It will be up to you to determine the extent of exhibition to which your husband will be submitted, know that you will be able to go as far as you wish. Also, not to spoil anything, the evenings in Brussels and London are really not expensive, neither in admission nor in the price of consumption.
In fact, in front of a large audience, it is easy enough to exhibit oneself. It is more problematic to involve a stranger in the practices of your partnership. The idea occurred to me a few times but I have placed this in the domain of fantasies one doesn't live out. After repeated questions by my husband, I have started to think about submitting him in front of another person, of course a woman because humiliation in front of another man would have too many psychological consequences on him and also would raise the question of my faithfulness and thus our partnership evolved in mutual fidelity (even without the chastity belt!) and there is no question of changing this. After a long ripening made with a lot of hesitation, I finally placed, without informing him, an ad in a Magazine (Nova) to find a woman who would like to attend, without participating, in a domination session of a man wearing a chastity belt. Ten replies, some phone calls, two meetings and finally a meeting in a hotel where she met us: My husband was blindfolded during the whole session. As for her, she had already attended domination sessions but was foremost fascinated by the chastity belt, which she saw for the first time. I was much too intimidated for the domination of my husband to take on a truly sexual aspect, so I concentrated on a few touches, making him do some submissive acts and various punishments. To tell the truth, I was rather ill at ease. During the course of time (that is to say, over several years), I repeated the experience several times (with different participants each time), took assurance and pleasure, and quite naturally some of these participants were led to go beyond their simple role of onlookers. I had never thought of one day having homosexual relations, but I must say that one day, taken by the feeling of the moment, I took the step. To be completely honest, I must say that if I did it it wa also and mostly for my husband: Like all men, his number 1 fantasy was of course to see me make love with another woman. After all, with all that he does for me, I could well give him this satisfaction, and once having gotten over the (big) difficulty of first contact, it is far (really very far) from being unpleasant!
My practices are neither a norm nor an example. But I think that all the same I must emphasize the fact that the presence of a third party during your encounters is something to do with plenty of precautionary measures and, in my view, should absolutely rule out men (unless your unfaithfulness is a daily part of your partnership, and even then!)
Limits not to overstep
It is difficult to draw limits, it is above all a personal matter. Nevertheless, I firmly advise you to never get into dangerous techniques such as strangulation (they say that the hanged jerk around, this could be true, but - not for long!) or asphyxiation (some courses claim that it brings about a certain drunkenness, but I advise you to instead make him drink a large glass of brandy)
Simply, don't forget that you are two, and this in both senses: Don't subject him to practices which you are not certain he is willing to undergo, but likewise don't allow yourself to be drawn into practices you reject, because you will thereby risk losing your taste for the whole gamut of these games and you should realize this would be a shame.
Also consider that, if certain practices turn you (or him) off, you can get yourselves on the way without going all the way to the end of the road. For example, I know that my husband would like to get into pissing games. I for my part am not completely inclined that way, but I still take pleasure in being licked after having urinated.
So one can always find solutions for everything.
The further you progress in practices in your dominating relationship with your husband, the more it becomes essential, as I explained in the foregoing paragraph about 24/7, that the interaction should only be temporary. In effect, you run the risk of one day overstepping the white line, you will be less conscious of it that it will certainly come to a point where your behavior will seem innocuous but he will perceive it as intolerable. It would be a shame to spoil everything after having patiently build it all up. If you switch from periods of domination to long periods of normal relations, you will thus give yourselves every chance to mend the pieces you may have unwittingly broken. After a session of several weeks or months, your husband will need to recover, to be certain that he is still benefitting from your consideration and admiration: You need to leave large spaces in time to prove it to him.
Chapter 6: Some ideas
The ideas and suggestions which follow are only conceivable to the extent to which you have already attained a sufficiently advanced state in your domination/chastity relationship. Still, on the road of your progression, nothing stops you from putting some of them into practice while adapting them to a "softer" version. At the risk of repeating myself again and again, don't ever forget that progressiveness is the key to all success in this area.
1 - Food
Food offers a nearly unlimited field for dominant relationships. Here are some of the ideas I was able to put into practice over the course of time:
2 – Ladies' Night
One version of this idea consists of setting up a restaurant dinner with girlfriends while leaving your husband at home effectively fastened to the bed (a little warning note: be careful with gags while you are away!) This situation creates a particular interest because it creates special feelings not just for him but also for you. For him, a bit (or lots!) of jelousy and also of fear that something will happen to you during the course of the evening and that you will not be able to come home (so be careful at the wheel!). For you, a special heady feeling of power from knowing that your man waits for you, naked and bound at the house while you enjoy good times with your friends, I assure you this is highly arousing!
A more sophisticated version consists in running the same ladies' evening at your place. After setting up your apartment, you will lock him up in the closet or another room which you will choose to be as close as possible to the living room in which you will entertain. He will be bound and gagged there and, if you dare, you will leave the door ajar so that he will be able to hear your conversations. Of course you will try to choose friends such that the conversation will turn to men. This will give you the opportunity to place remarks with double meanings which he will particularly enjoy.
After having practiced this very exciting little game several times (knowing that your girlfriends are having a pleasant eventing while at most a few feet away your husband is naked and bound provokes, I assure you, some well-placed verbal barbs!), one day it came to me to use the cupboard in our dining room: Cleared of everything that was on the floor, it made a perfect hideaway: I locked him in, tied up, and so he spent the evening nude, less than two meters from the dining room table where we ate. To avoid an unforeseen incident, I hung a curtain from the bottom shelf to hide him, and I even allowed myself the luxury of several times opening the door to the cupboard to get dishes, thereby increasing his fear of being discovered. All the same, I make it clear that I had him tied up much less constrictively than usual because I didn't want a painful cramp to spoil the evening!
3 - Weekend in the country
Maybe you have a cabin in the country, in this case things are easy. If this is not the case, try to borrow the use, especially in the travel season, of a house from your friends (be sure all the same that they won't be coming for an unannounced visit!).
Arrange for the two of you to be completely free of any commitments during this weekend but see to it that he doesn't know about this "amorous" escapade. I kknow, all this is not easy to organize, but if you succeed, it will be worth it.
So Friday evening, he will be coming home from work unaware of what is in store for him. Tie his hands behind his back, blindfold him (for this kind of occasion, the best would be to put opaque contact lenses on his eyes and sunglasses over top so no one will notice anything). Make him lie down on the back seat of the care, tie his feet, and you're off to a weekend in the country.
Once you're there you will have, because there are always such in country houses, corners and niches, basements, or storerooms where you can shut him away, and girders, poles or rings you can tie or chain him to.
The main point of the operation is in the fact that he must not know where he is, as if he had been kidnapped. So try to keep him blindfolded at all times, as kidnappers do.
If you manage to organize such a weekend, I assure you that he will remember it for a long time.
4 - At the restaurant or on vacation
As long as you are alone, he addresses you respectfully and by title. Why not extend this practice while you are in public, at a restaurant, at a hotel or in a store? Make it a point to make him speak in front of the waiter or saleslady. He will of course try by all means to reply to you without using the formalisms, but insist, and if necessary threaten punishments.
Another possibility is to forbid him to speak to anyone other than you without your permission: This will be particularly embarrassing for him at the restaurant when asked to order, because he must not answer to the waiter even if a question has been asked of him.
Always at restaurants, ostensibly order his dishes without letting him choose, take away his menu or better yet, if you dare (you must dare!) when the waiter gives him the menu tell him, "No, that's unnecessary - I will choose for him".
5 - Theme nights, rituals, games
The games, the rituals you subject him to, as well as theme nights (or better, periods, because one evening is often too short) derive only from your imagination. It is up to you to decide.
Depending on the circumstances, it may be psychologically preferrable to officially anounce to him in advance the general idea of the themes of these rituals but be careful because in this case you will need to adhere to them and make him do so, otherwise you will lose all credibility.
A few examples which you can ponder according to your imagination:
6 - Punishments
As I indicated before, punishments must be real, this is the price for his total dependence on your good will. He must really fear punishments, so be relentless. If he has disobeyed, rebelled or not carried out perfectly a task you have set him, get angry. Otherwise and in this spirit, I suggest to you:
7 - Planed freedom
How to fit together two seemingly contradictory situations? During the night you keep him tied to the bed in such a way that he cannot leave the bed while you sleep and then in the morning you wish that he can get up to make breakfast for you but without waking you and making you open locks or handcuffs which keep him tied to the bed.
Myself being unable to imagine such a clever system, it was my husband who brought me the solution (he found it on the Internet): What it takes is to put a small nail in the ceiling (small enough to be discreet) and to hang from it a thread at the end of which hangs, within reach of his hands, the key to the lock or handcuffs which grants him freedom. Using another thread attached to the first, you move the key in such a way that it will be out of his reach, and you glue this second key to a light bulb with a few drops of candle wax. A timer (less than 200 Francs in a hardware store) set to the hour of your choice will light the bulb, melt the wax and release the thread, which will permit the key to come within reach of his hands. It's simple but it took some thought. With the help of your imagination, this clever system could have other very useful applications.
Chapter 7: Some technical advice: Materials and their use
It is of course not thinkable to introduce all these practices into your lives all at once. In every way, even at the last stage, nothing is truly indispensable: Everything is a matter of tastes and desires, so apply yourselves in the use of that which pleases you (both). As I have already said, you will be surprised to note that with time your tastes will evolve to the point where certain situations or practices which you refuse today will become indispensable within a few months or years.
I have often use the term "progressiveness" in this article, it is vital for him, but it applies equally well and much to you.
Bondage is an important, or essential element in the domination of males: To tie him up is to take away the main element of his superiority over you: Physical force. While you dominate, he knows that he can at any time end his situation if he so decides. So to tie him up is the only means of putting him truly in a situation of total psychological dependence. Therefore you must use and abuse bondage. But in order for this effect to be attained, it is imperative that he is aware that he cannot free himself. So you must learn to tie him up correctly.
This will come with practice, until you will no longer need to be careful of what you do and you will be sure not to mess up his restraint. Here are some bits of advice which will allow you to gain some time while you learn:
Hardware stores sell white ropes made of polypropylene which are relatively soft to the touch. Choose some with a diameter of 6 mm [¼"]. To have a complete set of equipment, you will need about 50 meters [150 feet] which you will cut to different lengths: 4 short pieces (2.5 meters [7 feet], no less), 3 medium pieces (5 m [15 feet]) and 2 long pieces (10 m [30 feet]). Wrap the ends in tape to avoid having them becoming frayed. You can buy different colors for the different lengths, this will make their use easier during sessions.
Clearly more pleasant (more supple and softer) are cotton ropes (choose those in 8 mm [3/8"]), they are often colord (red and black have the prettiest effect). They are not only difficult to find but also clearly more expensive.
The first rule for solidly tying up a man is not to "turn him into a sausage". He will only nedd a few moments to free himself if you wrap him from head to foot in a rope of 10m. In general, 10m ropes should not be used other than for "Japanese bondage", which is a kind of macrame which dresses up the body in a very aesthetic manner. Wait until you have a lot of practice with bondage before launching into the use of these 10m ropes.
For basic bondage, the absolute rule is to tie each part of his body separately, this explains the need for all the different lengths. Use a short rope to tie his hands, the same for his feet, a medium rope for the arms (only for the arms, if you are tying up his whole body use a 10m rope) and the same for the knees. Always use the full length of the rope, do not leave unused pieces of rope hanging because first of all this would be unaesthetic, second because un using less rope you are reducing the effectiveness of the restraint. Also, the more often a rope is wrapped around, for example around the wrists, the more you reduce the risk of cutting off the blood circulation and the more "comfortable" you make your prisoner.
To make things simple, always double each rope you are going to use by folding it in the middle, and pass the ends through the loop formed by the fold, you will then have a kind of sliding knot which will serve as the basis for the tie. Then wrap the rope, thus doubled, around the part of the body to be tied.
The key point are of course the hands: Tie them, palm against palm, by wrapping almost the entire length of the rope around the wrists (no need to knot them too much) then finish (when there is not more than 15 - 20 centimeters [14 - 16"] maximum left) by passing the rest of the rope between his hands in such a way as to close on his wrists the work which you have just accomplished: Your opening piece will thus resemble handcuffs with the cuffs very close together. Another technique, just as efficient for the hands is to make him cross his wrists, then to wrap the rope vertically and horizontally around the cross formed by his wrists. When you tie his hands behind his back, this technique is less physically strenuous for him because it generates less tension in his shoulder area.
If, for example, you tie his crossed arms to the bed, consider that he will be able to easily untie himself if his hand can reach the knots which attach the rope to the bars of the bed. So see to it that you keep these knots out of the reach of his fingers, and if this is not possible for some reason this is not possible, attach the cord by its middle to the bars of the bed and then finish up around his wrist: The knots at the end of the rope will be tied on his wrist and he will thus not be able to reach them with his fingers. Nevertheless, make sure that he cannot reach the knots with his mouth.
In general, get in the habit of starting out with the techniques described above (wrap around first, then pass through the middle to tie) to attach not only the other parts of the body (feet, knees, elbows) but likewise to tie a part of the body to a fixed objet: To attach one hand to an arm of an easy chair, one ankle to one leg of the chair or the waist to a post: Wrap the hand and the chair arm together, then pass the rest of the rope between the two to secure the whole.
No matter in which position you tie up, it is imperative that he be unable to undo anything that you have done: It is only if his hands are not correctly tied that he can undo any part of his bondage. Therefore, it is essential for your authority and your self-image that any situation you put him into be inescapable for him, not even partial or minimally. You must therefore always keep in mind the principle of the following precaution: Make sure that his fingers (and his mouth) don't have access to the knots on any rope, be they the ones on his feet, his knees or any other part of his body but also (one doesn't always think of this) those which attach him to a fixed object (bed, radiator, pipe, furniture, etc).
While you are not sure of your technique, do not hesitate to reinforce your ties by adding handcuffs or chains (with locks) or, an efficient trick for the hands, finish off your restraint by wrapping some sticky tape two or three times around the ropes. Also think of avoiding a frequent beginner's error: To think that he is immobilized if you have a handcuff on his wrist and the other to the leg of a table. All he has to do is to lift the table to find himself free to roam at will. So choose a piece of furniture much too heavy to be lifted, or having a leg with a bulge which will prevent the cuff from being slipped off.
For more sophistication, I invite you to buy some magazines specializing in bondage. You will find heaps of ideas, positions and techniques there that you will be able to study and put into practice. The Internet is also a large source of inspiration (if, like me, you are only a moderate Web fan, ask him to do the research for you and to download explicit photos for you).
To finish off, a little safety advice: Always keep a knife or a pair of scissors on hand so as to be able to rapidly cut the ropes in case of illness or problems.
- Metal handcuffs:
There is no need to explain the use of handcuffs. Their use is very simple. On the other hand, I advise you not to buy just any handcuffs: The most widespread (and cheapest) model has a blocking system intended to keep the cuff from tightening around the wrist (very painful and thus intolerable) which is not very effective. Avoid these absolutely. Prefer cuffs saying "double lock". Their form is practically identical but the key has on its ring a little stem that can be used to activate a blocking system which keeps the cuff from tightening.
Handcuffs are found in three sizes, one for the wrists, one for feet and one for thumbs. Buy them from the same brand, then a single key can open all of them. Avoid buying them in sex shops [adult bookstores], they are overpriced. Better to check weapon stores or even better the Internet.
No matter how expensive, these are indispensable accessories for your toy box. You will need 2 pairs (hands and feet). Choose soft leather ones, they are more pleasant. Generally, their system of closure consists of a belt buckle, which means that nothing stops your husband from taking them off when he wants. In this case, use little locks which you put in the first free buckle hole beside the buckle, so he will not be able to remove them and they will be able to fulfill their role.
In passing, I cannot resist suggesting a little game offering much excitement for winter or rainy days: Unsew the bottoms of the pockets of his coat or raincoat, make him put his hands through the open pockets and put the cuffs on him; all that remains is to button up his coat so that he can accompany you through the streets tied up like this without anyone suspecting.
Very aesthetic and, to my tastes, very erotic. Buy them in hardware stores, don't choose them too thick or too heavy, get them cut (shorter than for the ropes; pieces of 1.5m [5 feet] are enough) in the store because you cannot do it at home. To fasten them you will need little locks. My advice: Buy ten identical padlocks from a locksmithy, specifying that you want them all to open with the same key. This is essential for not having to spend hours searching for the right key.
Very erotic restraints can also be achieved using plastic film such as is currently used to wrap food. It is cheaper to buy large rolls (100 m [33']) from a packaging materials store. You will wrap your submissive from head to toe while taking care before starting to wrap each of his hands in a good thickness of film to stop him from using his fingers to break through the plastic cocoon in which he will be immobilized. This kind of bondage is very spectacular but very restrictive for him (he will really be totally immobilized).
Two indispensable precautions: Make him drink often to rehydrate him because he will perspire abundantly, and if you also wrap up his head (careful!) in the cocoon, put a little tube in his mouth which will go through the cocoon to assure that he can breathe. Also, as 2 measures are better than one, also poke holes into the cocoon where his nostrils are so that he will have two different methods to breathe. Warning: It is essential to never leave him unsupervised!
Once this is done, this kind of bondage allows you access to the parts of his body you are interested in: All you have to do is use scissors to cut little openings, for example near his nipples or his sex.
Materials, buy or make
If your husband is a craftsman, make the best of it by making him construct the instruments you will use for his domination. Otherwise, make him produce the very simplest items and buy the rest, because otherwise you would have to pass them up and that would be a shame.
Whips, crops, etc.
Depending on the material from which the thongs of a whip are made, the effect produced on your submissive will be different. Most of the whips sold in sex shops [adult bookstores] are practically useless because they are too painful (they are made from strips of leather that is much too hard). If you do not find one made from soft leather, make your own, it is not difficult: A piece of wood for a handle and sticky tape to attach the thongs, the hardest part will be to find the material for the thongs. Test different materials: Kitchen string, ribbons, shoelaces of different forms and materials, ribbons, plastic (flexible and soft), cloth and leather taken from clothes to be discarded, etc.
Don't hesitate to make several with different materials, you will just have to use them differently depending on the intensity of pain they produce.
Also don't hesitate to buy from a large pet department a which, preferring those with leather (rather than plastic) thongs.
Safety tip for all whips: Know that what hurts about a whip stroke is the ends of the thongs, so see to it that the ends of the thongs are striking the part of the body you want to reach. You will come to find on your own that although the back and buttocks can well withstand even strongly applied strokes, on the other hand the thighs, sides, chest and even more the sex are too sensitive to take real strokes. If you nevertheless insist on whipping these parts of his body, make a whip with cloth thongs, it doesn't hurt much and you will thus be able to strike hard (which can sometimes be a relief!)
The riding crop is an indispensible instrument in your toy collection because, aside from its punitive use, it constitutes a symbol of authority. Buy it from the riding department of a sports store. Choose a model with a wide end and remember that this wide end is used for striking, not the stem.
Consider also sometimes using a ping-pong racket or a large wooden spatula to replace your hand during spakings, because a good spanking will end up hurting the hands as well.
It would be ideal if your apartment or your house (notably more often in garages or basements) was already equipped with one. If this isn't the case for you, it is easy to find a wood or metal one in hardware stores. On the other hand, it is more difficult to work out a system of attachment to keep them standing without the risk of the tied submissive falling. Large home improvement departments always have large stands for TV antennas; this is a good solution but requires that the stands themselves are very solidly attached to large pieces of wood. So this is reserved for craftspeople.
It's a very useful and gratifying item but it is not easy to come by and what's more, for obvious reasons of discretion, it is imperative that this cage be easily disassembled! With home construction out of the question, two solutions are nevertheless possible: One is that you buy a cage for a very large dog, but these are nevertheless of reduced size which rules out long stays (he will not be able to lie down, even in the foetus position), or you order from a wholesaler for professionals (see the Yellow Pages) a storage bin as used by the Postal Service, large store departments, etc. As for me, I stuck with this second solution: Not at all expensive, very effective and - very exciting. However, my husband recently told me that he had seen on the Internet that certain manufacturers specialized in domination material offer real, disassemblable cages. I will consider the idea, but I'm afraid that they are a bit overpriced.
The idea of a gag is not to stop him from calling for help but rather to stop him from talking and furthermore to introduce yet another element of restriction to his freedom.
In sex shops [adult bookstores] you will find ball gags, that is to say they are made from a rubber ball with a little leather strap going through them which can be fastened behind the neck. They are very worthwhile but often expensive, you may choose to make your own from a ball and a piece of belt, it is very simple. To make sure he cannot take the gag off, you can use a little lock which will prevent any possibility of taking it off even if you leave him the use of his hands.
Apart from this kind of gag (which I absolutely recommend), you can also make a gag using, for example, a piece of cloth or better yet your panties (which of course you just removed) which you stuff completely into his mouth and which you fasten in place with large strips of sticky tape, a scarf or better yet a used stocking well tied behind his neck.
Another particularly erotic gag is the ring gag: This is a rubber or plastic ring (up to you to find an object of everyday life such as a napkin ring for example) which is placed in the mouth (behind the teeth) and which is attached behind the neck with straps or rope. Your husband will not be able to close his mouth but on the other hand he will be able to continue using his tongue. I think that this clarification is sufficient to convince you of the necessity of such a gag!
Warning: never leave him alone when he is gagged, especially with a piece of cloth which fills his mouth. The risk of suffocation (especially in case he vomits) is very severe. On the other hand, there is less risk with a ball gag (provided the ball is small enough) and none with a ring gag.
If, as is likely, he has accepted the introduction of anal plugs (small to start out with and then a little bigger), you can go on to true anal intercourse even if your husband has a total aversion toward gays (men don't consider this kind of intercourse as a homosexual act if it is inflicted by a woman) because you will derive real pleasure from it. Buy a strap-on in a sex shop [adult bookstore] (go there together to buy it). Don't let yourself be tempted by double strap-ons which also have a dildo for you. They are neither practical nor effective. Prefer a simple strap-on which will not stop you, if you are wearing it, from sliding another dildo into your sex to partake in the pleasure.
Going the other way, if you order his chastity belt from Neosteel or Tollyboy, be sure to take the dildo option: His chastity belt will be equipped with a fixed dildo (of excellent quality), so he will be able to fully (!) satisfy you without you needing to take off his chastity belt. A MUST!
Sex shops [adult bookstores] sell nipple clips of various forms. Don't hesitate to ask him to buy you some, they should be part of your toy collection even if they are not used. Apart from this, clothespins are an excellent addition to this collection: Try several models to find which ones produce sufficient effect without being intolerable (the wooden ones are often the most suited). If they are not too firm, these clips cn be used on all parts of the body (try them out on yourself before using them on a new part of his body). Simply know that the pain they provoke while they pinch the skin is nothing compared to the pain experienced when they are removed. But this is not a sufficient reason not to use them, because this pain is brief.
The chastity belt
The choice of belt
There are several types but after an in-depth reading of the manufacturer's sites and of the www.tpe.com/~altarboy site (an inexhaustible trove of information and testimonials), I advise you to choose the type of belt made by Access Denied (USA), Neosteel (Germany) or Tollyboy (England). It is very expensive (about 5 - 6000 Francs) but terribly effective and very aestheic.
My choice went to Neosteel, and like all the commentaries one finds on the Internet, I can only congratulate myself.
There is also another chastity belt called CB 2000 which in fact is not a belt but a device one attaches to the sex. According to the commentaries made on the Internet by its buyers, this system is often inoperative because it has a tendency not to stay put. It does not seem perfectly effective other than for men blessed with rather voluminous and above all sufficiently hanging testicles. If this is the case with your husband, don't hesitate to try this CB 2000 becaue this device is clearly less expensive and above all, being made of plastic, it can pass without problem through metal detectors at airports (very practical if your husband travels a lot).
The duration of wear
All the manufacturers claim that they can be worn 24/7. Don't believe them: This is exaggerated and useless. It is preferrable to take it off him each night, but if you wish, you can leave it on him without too much risk for 2, 3 or 4 days at a time. He can shower normally and tend to his hygiene except for his sex, which remains truly inaccessible. After about 2 or 3 days of continuous wear, problems of discomfort or irritation can start to appear which will force you to remove the belt and in this case you will not be able to put it bakck on until the irritation has completely gone away. But it should be noted that these problems have a tendency to reduce after a few necessary initial adjustments, adjustments for which Neosteel gives you marvellous advice with lots of patience.
If you interepret the word "security" in the sense of him being able to have sexual intercourse, masturbate or even touch himself, I can tell you that the security afforded by the belt is truly total.
On the other hand, you must also think of your husband's safety. If you need to be absent for more than 24 hours, you must definitely organize that he be able to have access to the key if for medical or other reasons it may become totally imperative to be able to get out of this belt. Of course, you can confide this key to your best girlfriend, but I doubt if you have achieved a sufficient degree of confidentiality (and trust) in her! This leaves the envelope solution: Seal the key into it, sign or write a sentence on the back of the envelope, stick a piece of tape over top of your signature and, to make it more dramatic, seal it with wax and apply your seal (if you do not have an engraved signet, have one made in a stationery supply shop).
On the road
When you leave on a trip, there is of course no question of bringing all your toys. So the choice you will make will depend both on your mode of transportation and on the place you will stay. If you are leaving by car for a location in France [translator's note: The original of this article comes from France] there's nothing to stop your choice from being very large; if on the other hand you are leaving by plane to stay abroad with friends, you will be much more limited.
In the last case, be sure to avoid metallic objects like handcuffs and unfortunately also the chastity belt (except for the CB 2000). On the other hand, you can bring a few ropes or at least a greater than necessary number of scarves, and leather or chain belts. For punishments, a little flogger might do but if you prefer not to bring any "special" item you could also use one of your belts or find a little wooden stick which has the advantage over the flogger of being able to be used much more quietly all the while being much more painful. Of course, make sure that you have a bag which can be locked in order to keep your friends, their children or their cleaning lady from rummaging through your stuff.
Conclusion: And then?
And then? Nothing!
Or rather yes, the pleasure of these games will renew itself from session to session, you will discover new ideas, new games, new details which will spice up these intensive moments.
If you have taken my advice not to turn to 24/7, you have no risk of falling into monotony and weariness. So, the years will pass with the rhythm of these periods of unforgettable sexual bliss. Little by little, with age your sexual appetites will no doubt decline, but there will always be the memory of a great togetherness which will have lighted up your partnership.
Page last updated 02-May-16 by: Altairboy@aol.com